I'm very excited to introduce a guest writer today - Amber Schonhaar Nickerson, my sister-in-law. Amber had twins six years ago, and I asked her to share her experience in nursing them. Her story proves that although things may not go as we wish, we can still find a way to do the very best we can for our babies.
April 25, 2007. My husband Mark
accompanies me to our weekly appointment at the High Risk Unit at the
Ottawa Hospital Civic Campus. Approximately 5 hours later, I’ve
delivered our precious boy/girl twins by C-section. At a day shy of
36 weeks gestation, they are relatively big and healthy. We are
overjoyed and overcome with emotion. Although we knew the twins could
arrive any day, we are in disbelief that they are here!
Ours wasn’t a straightforward
story: nearly 5 years of dealing with infertility, rounds of
medications, countless doctors’ appointments, tests, and finally a
successful IVF attempt. To say that we were ready to be parents would
be an understatement! There’s a reason I’m giving you this
background – this story is paramount in my decision to nurse the
twins.
After such a journey, I was prepared,
I’d done my research, Mark and I had attended the “Breastfeeding
Twins” workshops, I had practiced the football hold with two
eight-pound dolls, and we had a plan. But, as any mother will tell
you, no matter how much planning takes place, no one is quite
prepared for the realities of first-time parenthood, and having twins
adds a few extra challenges!
As soon as I’d been wheeled into my
recovery room, the nurses brought the babies to me. I fumbled with
them, one at a time, to see if they would latch. They attempted to,
but we could see they were both struggling. Our son had to be in the
NICU for about 36 hours due to some fluid in his lungs, so they kept
the twins together. It doesn’t sound like long now, but it was
extremely difficult not to have them in my room right away. The
nurses gave Mark bottles of formula and he fed them. Soon the twins
were with me, and I attempted to nurse them every couple of hours.
That football hold I practiced just did not work for me, nor did the
other styles of holding them. I fumbled with nursing pillows, regular
pillows, the Lactation Consultants doing all they could to coach me.
The nurses told me that at 36 weeks, our babies were probably not
physically able to latch, but I didn’t give up. We went to another
workshop held on my floor. We were the only parents with twins. The
baby blues struck (later I read that both moms of IVF babies and moms
who experience emergency C-sections are more prone to this – a
double whammy for me since I had experienced both). Things weren’t
going as I had pictured.
I’ll never forget the first time
I used an electric, double pump. I cried and cried. In part because
of those baby blues, I’m sure, but partly because it felt so
unnatural, and also because of the guilt and worry I felt. Was I
doing what was best for our little miracles?
I recovered in the hospital for nearly
5 days never giving up on trying to nurse the twins as well as pump
as much as I could. Thankfully I didn’t have any problem with
supply. The day I was discharged I was very clear to Mark – “Go
down to the hospital store and buy the most expensive, best double
electric breast pump there!” It would turn out to be one of the
best decisions I’d made.
At home, we were troopers. Mark was off
with nine months of parental leave. With Mark’s help every step of
the way, I got into a great routine of nursing (they eventually did
latch on occasionally and I had a handful of successful times
breastfeeding them but never at the same time), pumping milk,
labeling and freezing milk, and sanitizing bottles. Life felt
stressful but we were incredibly happy. And just slightly sleep
deprived!
I don’t remember the exact moment,
but at one point, I decided that the most important thing to me was
giving our babies breast milk and the way it got to them – whether
it was bottle or breast – didn’t matter. A few things played into
this. We had been through weeks of attempting to nurse them. We were
so fortunate to have a Lactation Consultant visit our home, as well
as appointments every few days with the team at the hospital. Nursing
them together was near impossible for me. I soon realized that I had
to support my breast with my hand in order to nurse one baby at a
time. They were growing fast and breastfeeding them one after the
other was just not an option. Picture it: 2am, two tired parents, two
hungry crying newborns. Feed one, and then let the other twin cry for
that time, hungry? Something just didn’t make sense. The answer lay
in that great
Medela (
http://www.medela.com/CA/en.html)
pump Mark had picked up and the fact that he was off for 9 months!
The perfect solution was to pump full time so we could enjoy feedings
together.
This was not how I pictured it, but it
worked for us for nearly 8 months. At that point, I was exhausted to
say the least. It’s difficult to look back now and think about
exactly what lead me to stop at that point, but it was the right
decision at the time. Ultimately, I look back on those months with
pride and happiness. Parenting lesson #1: sometimes things don’t
turn out exactly how we plan.
If you missed our first four posts for this International Breastfeeding Week you can find them at...
Also check out our nursing cover giveaway here.
